This week… Procras10ation Episode 9 – The One Where Daniel Gets Scrooged and Dumber. We are recasting some movies, again. You know because we have the ability to not only recast movies, movies but apparently make them as well. This week Daniel is at the helm of the casting agency.
- Crazy Asian game show on lube covered stairs. Jason wants them to be naked.
- We reminisce over MXC and Wipeout. We love those shows.
- Jason has never seen Mulan all the way through. Daniel can sing the songs.
- Daniel wants to be Goofy or Chewie at Disney World.
- Jason wants to run the Jungle Boat ride or drive a water taxi. If he is on the water taxi he wants to still have the gun from the Jungle Boat ride.
- Jason also wants to retire and drive a Duck Boat in Boston. Daniel is afraid of the snow and the cold.
- Jason is calling on Daniel to recast African Queen and Casablanca. With Wynona Judd in the role of Rick in Casablanca.
- Kevin Hart and The Rock in Dirty Dancing.
- Jason wants Daniel to watch Christmas Vacation with his daughter.
- Go watch Jim and Andy. Not a huge Kaufman fan but he was a really talented performance artist.
- Penelope the Podast Puppy has finally made her appearance.
Daniel’s Re-Imaginings of:
This is not a scene for scene remake so these actors get to make it their own. Of course, there will be some things that just have to be in the movie – the rant at the end for sure.
Director: That role is up for grabs. Jason wants Bobcat to direct.
Re – Cast:
- Frank Cross – Nick Offerman – His delivery as Frank Cross would be amazing. The fourth wall break at the end of the movie would be exceptional. We really want to see Nick Offerman in the dog costume.
- Claire – Heather Graham – Good actress. She is a little older so she would fit with Offerman. She would be perfect opposite, Offerman. She is also truly funny and could make the role her own.
- Elliot Loudermilk – John C Reilly – He works on that edge of crazy so that he could reprise the shotgun scenes at the end of the movie. Jason has suggested John Mulaney – him playing drunk would be cool.
- Brice Cummings – Jon Hamm – Jon FUCKING Hamm – He would perfect in this role. Jason wants him to be Cyclops.
- Lew Hayward – Liam Neeson – He gets to be Offerman’s mentor and the starter of all the magic. Go to Neeson’s Cock. Jason says that Bill Murray should come back and play this role as a handoff to Offerman.
- Ghost of Xmas Past – Samuel L Jackson – This movie is officially a hard R at this point.
- Ghost of Xmas Present – Tina Fey – I want her blowing on Offerman’s hair abs and then spitting hair.
Dumb and Dumber
Jim Carey has lost his mind so we need to have a glimpse back into the past and see Dumb and DUmber remade.
Director: The Farrelly brothers come back to direct.
- Lloyd – Jimmy Fallon & Harry – Justin Timberlake – These two together would be amazing. They would have to rewrite the script a little to make it work. Timberlake could rock the character without too many changes. Lloyd has to change a little but you still keep the Dumb and Dumber-ness. Potentially this becomes a musical.
- Mary – Zooey Deschanel – Another singer added to the group. This is for sure a musical now.
- Joe Mentalino – Jonah Hill – We haven’t seen Jonah Hill play the bad guy so this could be something new.
- JP Shay – Gwen Stefani – She can sing and she was a bit of a badass. Jason wants P!nk and has a little bit of a crush on her. Jason also wants to throw in Melissa McCarthy. Stefani with the breeze in or breeze out. Or maybe Vince Vaughn dressed as Gwen Stefani. And then Daniel disses on Fairuza Balk the podcast is over.
- Sea Bass – Dwayne The Rock Johnson – Just to see Timberlake kick the door open and knocking The Rock out. Triple H, Stone Cold, Shawn Michaels, and Mick Foley are his friends around the table.