This week… Procras10ation Episode 11 – The One Where We Fondle The Original Trilogy. The trilogy that started it all. We jump back to 1977 and start with Episode 4. 

Show Notes:

  • I am not sure how we got into this conversation or why we chose to open the podcast this way. I promise most of our podcasts do not start this way.
  • The Prequels are the “Meh” of the Star Wars universe. You watch them and buy them just because. If you are watching through the movies with a Star Wars virgin then you watch them. With Star Wars we are both completists, we will watch and own them all. That is not true with all movies (X3 for instance).
  • George Lucas Scrooge McDuck reference for the second week in a row.
  • Jason’s really bad Wookie impersonation.
  • Wookie’s have prehensile penises. There may be more Wookie sex talk later.
  • We like the special editions better with the exception of Greedo shooting first. Jason even likes the bigger dance scene with Max Rebo’s band and the longer celebration in the Ewok village.
  • We think Disney will eventually give us all the versions of the movie in one collection.
  • An impressive impersonation is an impressination.
  • Jason meant Return when he talked about the movie coming out in 1983 – he is just stupid.
  • Daniel doesn’t know who played Wicket.
  • We bash on Top Gun and love on Hot Shots for a few minutes.
  • The Whisperer has arrived (Jason’s wife). She is not a Star Wars fan.
  • Penelope he Podcast Puppy has made her appearance. She likes Star Wars but doesn’t like The Walking Dead.
  • We want to make The Whisperer the fact checker.
  • Jason brings up Joseph Campbell and the myth of hero.

A New Hope Procras10ation Episode 11 – The One Where We Fondle The Original TrilogyEpisode IV: A New Hope

  • Release Date: May 25, 1977 – Director: George Lucas
  • Daniel loves the cantina scene. We talk a little about some of the folks in the cantina.
  • Read: Tales from Mos Eisley CantinaTales of the Bounty HuntersTales from Jabba’s Palace.
  • Greedo was more of a loan shark. He was Chili Palmer from Get Shorty. One Rodian and then he was dead.
  • Luke and Han in the Storm Trooper armor til the end of the movie. Han working the control board in the prison block is Jason’s favorite part of the A New Hope.
  • Daniel calls the clumsy storm trooper fat. He wasn’t fat he was just really tall and whacked his head on the ceiling.
  • Daniel says that the comment about running laps around the church lost us an audience. They were gone a long time ago… in a galaxy far far away.
  • Penelope’s imitation of a Wookie having sex.

The Empire Strikes Back Procras10ation Episode 11 – The One Where We Fondle The Original TrilogyEpisode V: The Empire Strikes Back

  • Release Date: June 20, 1980 – Director: Irvin Kershner
  • We want to believe that Yoda is from Dagobah. He killed all the rest of the people on Dagobah and lived there alone.
  • 5 is Jason’s favorite and Daniels second favorite of the original trilogy.
  • The storyline is terrific. It is not the usual story. Vader wins. The Rebellion is scattered. And this had the first big plot twist that I remember seeing in a movie.
  • Here is the ending and you have to wait three years to see what happened next.
  • The VHS version of Empire dropped in 1982. People probably watched it at home before they jumped on to Return.
  • Start with Hoth and the glorious battle on the planet. AT-ATs and snow speeders. How come they had X-Wings on the planet about to launch – why didn’t they attack the AT-ATs with the X-Wings. They had bombers on the planet too but they didn’t use them either. Then the asteroid belt and then Dagobah. The first shot of Slave I in movie history. Slave I the flying codpiece or the flying foot.
  • We try to figure out the reasoning behind all of the stuff on Boba Fett.
  • We get introduced to Lando Calrissian in Empire. The coolest man in the galaxy. We are so ready to see Donald Glover in the Han Solo standalone movie.

Return of the Jedi Procras10ation Episode 11 – The One Where We Fondle The Original TrilogyEpisode VI: Return of the Jedi

  • Release Date: May 25, 1983 – Director: Richard Marquand
  • We open with the droids. Then we go through Jabba’s Palace. Back to Endor after the Sarlacc pit. Jabba’s Palace is act one. From Dagobah to the landing on Endor is act two. This is a quick movie. and before you know it you are at the end of the movie.
  • You get a plot twist in this movie. You get that flip of Leia and Luke being brother and sister. Yoda is the kid’s character and then he is dead. He is the hook for kids and they let him die. Then Alec Guinness comes in and drops the mic on the Skywalker twins.
  • The Whisperer has deemed that Rey should have a pink lightsaber in the ninth movie.

The name that Jason was looking for was Dule Hill. Freaking love Dule Hill and Psych the TV show.


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